5 Reasons To Validate Yourself Instead of Relying on External Validation

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By Anna Marikar

Self validation is an essential skill. Ultimately, as you move through your life and the world around you, you will hear many different voices – some of them positive and accepting, some of them judging and critical. 

All these voices will have their own thoughts, ideas, and opinions to share. With so much information floating around, it can be difficult to discern how you feel and what you think amid all the chaos. 

We will never be able to please everyone, so seeking praise externally is guaranteed to be a losing battle, and can have negative effects on our self esteem. If we can recognize, celebrate, validate, support our own selves then this will give us a much more secure foundation.  

Let’s take a look at 5 key reasons to learn to validate yourself, and the benefits that this can bring.

When you learn to validate yourself, you’ll have an easier time trusting your own inner voice.

5 reasons to validate yourself instead of relying on external validation

When you can validate yourself, you can identify and center yourself in the world around you. If you struggle to feel self validation, we will walk you through some key reasons why building up this skill is a must, and can change your life and outlook.  

It’s not always easy, as much as you know you should be validating yourself rather than looking to other people, it can take time to truly get there. That is okay! Be aware, and try some techniques 

confidence is silent insecurities are loud

Self validation helps you understand who you really, truly are.

Feeling self validated helps you gain a clear understanding of who you really, truly are. When you are able to recognize and accept all your feelings, emotions and thoughts – including all the good and bad ones – you get a good, solid understanding of who you are.

Being able to know and accept all the different parts of yourself is a powerful experience that helps you feel totally self validated.

confident woman

Self validation acts as a “personal anchor” in a sea of voices.

In a world full of thoughts, ideas, and opinions, self validation can be the anchor that keeps you steadfast and aware of yourself.

It can be easy to fall into the bad habit of depending on others for external validation – you may catch yourself looking toward others before you form your own thoughts and opinions on a particular topic.

However, when you are able to self validate, you don’t depend on the ever-shifting tides of public thought and opinion. Instead, you can think critically and develop your own thoughts on a variety of subjects.

smiling woman

Self validation is an excellent guard against developing self doubt and insecurity. 

A self validated person doesn’t experience a lot of self doubt or insecurity, or suffer from low self esteem.

When you know and accept yourself, you don’t leave any room to question yourself or feel insecure about parts of who you are. Instead, you accept those facts of life, feel secure in them, and then keep living your life as the person who you really are.

Self validation serves as a way to show yourself true kindness and acceptance.

Life is short; spending lots of your precious time worried about yourself, questioning your thoughts, and feeling insecure is no way to live.

When you experience self validation, you are giving yourself the gift of total acceptance. Doing this is a kind way to live life – when you feel self validated, you are giving yourself love, acceptance, and respect, and feeling that way about yourself ensures that you can face any crisis in life with confidence.

dream it believe it achieve it

Self validation can be used as a tool to help you focus on your own goals and dreams. 

Self validation is a great tool for helping yourself focus on your big goals and dreams in life. When a person feels self validated, they have total acceptance of themselves, including their thoughts, opinions, feelings, emotions, dreams, and desires. 

Accepting yourself this fully and feeling validated about who you are makes it easier to define exactly what you want out of life. When you know exactly what you want out of life, focusing on what you need to do to meet those big goals is much easier. 

Rather than wasting time being unsettled or stuck on decisions or questioning your abilities, you feel confident enough to go after what you want because you know you want it.

Final Thoughts

Self-validation is a key practice for your self-worth, self-confidence and living your truest life. How you perceive the world and then identify and accept your internal environment as it relates to your world helps you to validate yourself, learn key things about yourself, promote personal growth and improves your overall personal state of being. 

confident achieving woman
Success achievement running, climbing or hiking accomplishment concept, woman celebrating with arms up raised outstretched hiking, climbing or trail running healthy lifestyle

Beautiful Quotes about Self Validation

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” 

– Mohadesa Najumi

“Belief in yourself is more important than endless worries of what others think of you. Value yourself and others will value you. Validation is best that comes from within.” 

Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o, Dreams in a Time of War

“It’s a tragic that we recognized our self worth from external validation.” 

Aditya Ajmera

Self-validation is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Become a person who is self-confident and depend on yourself for your acknowledgement and your validation. Know that in order to have people value you, you have to first value yourself. An attitude of self-validation will show to others and will open new doors for you.f

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Try out some of these practices of gratitude, journaling, and meditation to help you on your journey to self validation, feeling confident in who you are, grounded and at peace.

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Anna is a Wales-based writer and graduate from SOAS University of London.
As the voice behind On Your Journey, she empowers women to embrace holistic well-being and spiritual growth through her expert insights into wellness and symbolism.
When she isn't writing thought-provoking articles, you'll find her busy crafting and raising her 4 children.

2 thoughts on “5 Reasons To Validate Yourself Instead of Relying on External Validation”

  1. I love this! As I have learnt validation from outside sources can be so detrimental to my self esteem and almost always is never enough. I choose to validate myself instead.


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