People with abandonment issues frequently find themselves engulfed with fearful anxieties when their relationships — especially their close relationships — enter turbulent phases.
In reality, few, if any, intimate relationships can remain permanently steady. Life throws too many obstacles in the path of most people for that.
But pre-existing abandonment anxieties can often turn a difficult situation into an impossible one. Psychoanalysis suggests that abandonment fear in the present has roots in unresolved and unacknowledged abandonment issues from the past.
One of the most powerful ways to manage your time and stay in control of your own life, is to learn to say no.
Saying no is a great way to manage how you spend your time and take your power back.
Many of us don’t know how to say no because our parents taught us right from childhood not to say no, and this applies even more so to women. Girls are taught to “be nice”, not to make a fuss and basically to people please. With this social conditioning our whole lives, it’s no surprise that it can feel uncomfortable saying no and setting that boundary.
This social conditioning starts early. Many two-year-olds love saying no, but they are quickly taught that the word no is unacceptable.
But, it is time to take back the power of no and earn more time in your day for doing what you really want to do.
Saying no is not a crime, and no-one has the right to pressure you into something you’re not comfortable with, or to make demands over your time or resources, whether that’s emotional or material.
Do you feel like you’re always giving and never getting the same in return? Do you feel like people are constantly taking advantage of your good or giving nature, and you end up burnt out after putting all your time and energy into filling up everyone else’s cup?
If so, it might be time to start setting some healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy balance in our lives. They help us to protect our time, energy, and emotions.
Understanding how to set boundaries (and maintain them) is an important step in taking care of ourselves and our relationships.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much meditating, mantra and yoga you do. No amount of incense sticks around the house is enough to ground you and bring you to center.
I am there right now and I literally do not know what to do with myself. I am completely stuck in quicksand, I feel a mess. I can’t seem to focus even on the things I enjoy doing.
Nothing I do feels organic, natural…I am on auto-pilot just waiting for the next day. I feel like I am officially on the passenger seat of my own life and I do not know how to feel about it. I definitely do not like it a bit.
Breaking up a relationship is never easy. But I don’t think people talk much about the amount of emotions that you go through during a break up. Add the weight of a marriage with a child and watch yourself feel all sorts of strange and contradictory feelings within 10 minutes.