Your twenties are a rollercoaster of decisions, mistakes, and growth spurts that shape who you become. I spent mine thinking I had it all sorted, only to realise later that I’d been winging it spectacularly. Looking back, there are pearls of wisdom I wish someone had whispered in my ear before I faced the chaos of adult life. Here’s what I’ve learned; sometimes the hard way; about navigating those formative years.
1. Money Management Isn’t Optional
Back when payday meant splurging on takeaways and impulse shopping, I laughed off budgeting as something for ‘proper adults’. Fast forward to emergency car repairs and a leaking roof, with nothing in savings!
Starting a simple savings habit; even just £50 monthly; builds a financial safety net that future-you will worship the ground you walk on for. Compound interest isn’t just financial jargon; it’s practically magic when you start early.
2. Your Career Will Zigzag, Not Climb
Remember how I pictured my career as a neat upward trajectory? Reality check: it’s more like a game of Snakes and Ladders played in the dark.
Most successful people I know have career paths resembling a child’s scribble rather than a straight line. Sideways moves, backward steps, and complete U-turns often lead to the most fulfilling destinations. The colleague who took that ‘risky’ industry switch? She’s now doing what she loves while earning double.
3. Relationships Need Maintenance, Not Just Love
Falling in love was the easy bit; maintaining relationships is where I stumbled. Nobody warned me that those butterflies eventually settle, leaving actual work to be done.
Good relationships (romantic or otherwise) require regular tune-ups like cars. Checking in, asking meaningful questions, and sometimes just showing up when it’s inconvenient keeps connections strong. My longest friendships survived because we bothered to call even when Netflix was more tempting.
4. Health Investments Pay Dividends Later
At 22, I could demolish a pizza at midnight and bounce out of bed for a 6am run. The invincibility was intoxicating; until it wasn’t.
Your body keeps score, tallying every all-nighter, skipped meal, and stress-filled day. Those small habits; drinking water, stretching, actually using vegetables in cooking; aren’t just wellness influencer nonsense. They’re maintenance payments on the only vehicle you’ll inhabit for life.
5. Saying No Creates Space for Better Yeses
My twenties were filled with reluctant ‘yes’ responses to social obligations, overtime requests, and relationships that drained me. Fear of missing out kept me perpetually exhausted.
Learning to say ‘no’ without lengthy explanations was revolutionary. That wedding of your mum’s colleague’s daughter you barely know? Skip it. The promotion that requires 70-hour weeks? Perhaps not. Each ‘no’ creates space for opportunities that actually light you up.
6. Comparison Is the Joy Thief
Social media became my personal torture chamber. I’d scroll through perfectly curated lives while sitting in my pajamas at 3pm on a Sunday, questioning all my life choices.
Here’s the truth I wish I’d grasped sooner: behind every ‘perfect’ Instagram post lies fifteen outtakes and possibly a minor meltdown. Everyone’s timeline moves at different speeds. That friend with the corner office might secretly envy your freedom to travel. Comparison steals joy faster than a pickpocket in tourist season.
7. Failure Is Feedback, Not a Final Verdict
My first major professional flop felt like wearing a scarlet ‘F’ on my chest. I was certain everyone could see I was an imposter waiting to be exposed.
Years later, I realize that spectacular failure taught me more than any success. The startup that tanked? It showed me which business models actually work. The relationship that imploded? It clarified my non-negotiables. Failure isn’t a character assessment; it’s simply data collection for your next attempt.
8. Your Parents Are People Too
The moment I glimpsed my parents as actual humans; with dreams, regrets, and their own complicated stories; changed everything. It happened over a casual dinner when Mum mentioned the backpacking trip she abandoned to start her career.
Suddenly, I saw beyond the parent-child dynamic into something richer. They weren’t just rule-makers or support systems but people navigating life’s messiness like the rest of us. This perspective transformed our relationship from hierarchical to something approaching friendship; with occasional laundry benefits.
9. Skills Trump Degrees
My framed diploma gathered dust while I frantically taught myself Excel formulas the night before a big presentation. University gave me theories; the workplace demanded practical abilities nobody mentioned in lectures.
The most employable people I know continuously build tangible skills; whether coding, public speaking, or project management; regardless of their formal education. That side hustle creating websites for local businesses? More valuable than my dissertation on 18th-century literature. Practical competence opens doors that credentials alone cannot.
10. Community Doesn’t Happen Automatically
After university, my social circle evaporated like morning mist. I’d assumed friendships would naturally materialize in adulthood as they had in education. Wrong!
Building community requires deliberate effort; joining clubs, accepting invitations when tired, initiating gatherings. My current friend group exists because I awkwardly attended a book club despite knowing no one. Adult friendships need tending like gardens, not expecting them to flourish without attention creates a lonely existence.
11. Your Definition of Success Will Change
At 22, success meant the corner office, designer wardrobe, and Instagram-worthy holidays. By 29, I was questioning whether any of it actually mattered to me or was just societal programming.
The beauty of your twenties lies in discovering what genuinely constitutes success for YOU. Perhaps it’s creative fulfillment, work-life balance, or meaningful relationships rather than traditional markers. The sooner you define success by your own metrics, the sooner you can stop chasing someone else’s dream.
